The weather disconnect

By the time you read this, the temperature should be past its first dip into single digits and making its way back up for slightly more pleasant, if not still blustery, seasonal weather.

Weather, it’s what most polite people converse about when they don’t know what else to say. Don’t have anything in common with your neighbor other than the street you live on? Talk about the weather. Run into that ‘friend’ you actually cannot stand but feel you need to be polite to, bringing up the weather will give you something to bond over.

Is there anything else in the world so universally accepted for neutral conversation as the subject of the weather? If there is, I’ve not heard about it yet.

Discussing the meteorological conditions is effortless, requiring no connection of thought nor emotion, allowing us to live detached from those who pass through our lives.

I wonder, is this a plague that only effects our time or has it been around for thousands of years?

In an attempt to answer this for us all, I Googled the subject and found an interesting article that compares weather conversation to that of a political debate, runs through the concept of global warming destroying our coffee because due to fungus and finishing with some quotes by Al Gore. Further Google searches reveal that weather may not actually be the polite conversation in these modern times that I thought it was.

Now, I don’t disagree that our weather is changing, then again, I’m not yet convinced that this isn’t Mother Nature’s plan and we’re just ants on a log. Either way, the discussion of climate change was not what I had in mind when I suggested that we often talk about weather instead of what is actually in our hearts and minds.

Although I’m not a doctor, I personally feel that the practice of emotional avoidance could be the most common issue that prevents personal and spiritual health in this modern age. I believe that many people are so in fear of the power and depth of their own feelings that they disconnect, not just from themselves, but from everyone. That detachment, although conducted in an act to either make our lives supposedly easier or to protect ourselves, may actually cause more pain in its resulting lack of empathy, trust, and intimacy.

So what can we do the next time we are having a conversation and realize our side of the connection is on auto-pilot?

Again, I’m not a a doctor, but I do believe I might have a few simple hints that may help you find that close connection so many have lost these days.

1. Be present. Really listen and hear the meaning behind the words. It’s difficult to be truly connected if you don’t take the time to hear what the other person is saying.

2. Feel your feelings. Pay attention to what is going on underneath all the polite words and actions you automatically say and do. Allow yourself the freedom to let your emotions guide you.

3. Use your words. Find the right words to expresses your true thoughts and inner emotions without hurting or insulting others while remaining true to yourself.

I make no guarantees, but I believe if you can follow through with these simple ideas it can affect so many aspects of your life, everything from home and family, to work, to possibly even physical and spiritual health.